First, let’s get physical:

Most people don’t have favorite muscles, but I do.  In fact, I have several, but we’re all busy people so I’ll discuss only one: the transversus abdominis (TVA).  This is a deep belly muscle that wraps around the torso like a corset, nestled under the more glamorous rectus abdominis and obliques.  It adds definition to the waist, helps internal organ placement, and stabilizes the body during movement.  That’s why I love the TVA.  It acts as the body’s physical “inner core,” and, as such, it is also synonymous with my focus here: our emotional centers.

I discovered the emotional inner core concept years ago, when I had a debilitating injury and learned first-hand that, while yoga’s awesome for your anatomy, its non-physical benefits are at least equally important.  Strengthening my emotional core was harder than getting a six-pack, but as I did, something incredible happened… 

Happiness, contentment, and even that seemingly unattainable “inner peace” idea flooded my world.

So how did I amp up my emotional core strength?  Well, there’s no magic formula, but there are a few specific things that worked for me as I used yoga to heal both my physical and emotional bodies from my injury.  Start by creating a sacred space (like your yoga mat), and then:

• Step 1: Become more mindful. Yogis love to talk about mindfulness.  Put simply, this is a foundation-building practice of being more aware of your honest thoughts and feelings.  This, in turn, help you live a life based on authenticity, truth and, hence, pure happiness.

• Step 2:  Begin where you are. This is a primary yogic concept.  Once you’re aware of your place in space, accept it.  Start from there, instead of blaming others or criticizing yourself for not being as far along as you’d like.  Reflect on reasons why you might be a bit behind in your plan, and then let it go.  Hear any harsh words you tell yourself, and then politely tell that voice to shut it — you’re busy working on a strength program here.  Burn that negative energy like fuel.

• Step 3:  Invite in the _______, and just sit with it. I borrow this phrase from one of my favorite fellow yoga teachers, who, like me, believes that one of the best ways to build up your emotional reserve is to surrender to painful feelings and experiences without trying to block or banish them.  Instead, you invite in the pain/fear/irritation/anxiety and let it wash over you, like water, without resisting.  You pay attention to what comes up.  You observe your own judgments.  You breathe.  Maybe you cry, or cower, or get really angry.  And you just keep sitting until something softens.  In yoga-speak, this is a process that is “simple but not easy.”

• Step 4: Create emergency exits. At some point along the core strengthening journey, you may have some setbacks. For those challenging times when “sitting with it” fails, have Plans B, C and D ready.  Maybe it’s taking a nearby yoga class or hiking a favorite trail (exercise is a phenomenal compliment to this sort of thing), writing in a journal, or referencing a one-page “cheat sheet,” with encouraging quotes and your best qualities spelled out.

• Step 5: Let the answers reveal themselves. In other words, stop trying so hard and start trusting yourself. Acknowledge that you already know some stuff.  Most yogis, in fact, believe that we are our own best teachers; you probably already have answers to some of the questions in your head.  Accept that it may not be time for you to know all of them yet, and work instead on creating a safe space for yourself, within yourself, so that knowledge can seep to the surface.

In closing, I love the following yoga analogy, which compares your emotional core to a tree trunk:  if a tree trunk is small and feeble, then whenever the weather turns, the tree will sway and, possibly, fall.  It is shaken by every wind, regardless of force.  In contrast, if the tree trunk is solid, it stands regardless of hazardous weather.  Similarly, stressors can knock you right over if your emotional core is weak, but if you have a steady center, outside conditions don’t break you down. Just like the tree, you’ll stand tall.  Stress may sway your branches or take off a few leaves, but that’s about it.

As you work on growing that steady center, remember that emotional strength training takes time.  It’s an investment.  You’re not just trying to drop a few pounds of body fat; you’re trying to lose a ton of emotional weight that you’ve probably been accumulating for a really long while.  Stick with your process, with yourself.  Go inside for what you need, and the excess will start to fall away.  Soon enough, you’re gonna’ feel a whole lot lighter.