But it’s hard to remember that sometimes.  Even as a teacher, I forgot it for a while … for months, actually.  I didn’t end my personal yoga practice, or quit helping others continue their practices.  I stopped doing something else that nourishes my soul.  Forgetting that every artist creates differently, feeling that perhaps my process didn’t keep up with my peers, I stopped writing.

It was a quiet relief at first.  It freed up some valuable mindshare to devote towards business development, up-and-coming service offerings, marketing strategy, even the growing stack of administrative tasks.  Eventually, though, that fresh air formed a cloud of criticism:

• You haven’t written in months!  How ever will you start again?
• Did you see what _________  just published?  Brilliant!
• You should really have stuck to that posting schedule, and stocked that library full of “emergency” posts for droughts like this one.
• How hard is it to just publish one little post?  I mean, it’s only once per month!
• You have SO many ideas, titles and half-written pieces.  What is the problem???

Well, here’s the problem: with that kind of internal environment, nothing creative happens.  Deliciousness cannot thrive in the midst of harshness, self-criticism and your own personal, pissed-off peanut gallery. It’s wildly infertile ground. Everyone’s creativity garden needs a little manure to flourish, but nothing healthy grows in the middle of a wasteland.

As uncomfortable as it was, though, I kept working.  And working, and working.  And last week, in the middle of a particularly dry, anxious day, something broke through:  I remembered, respected and honored my angels, those genius forces that help us create (note: I don’t adhere strictly to any one organized religion, but I’ve always referred to these “assistants” as angels… and it seems I’m in good company, too, as Steven Pressfield uses this terminology exquisitely in his extraordinary book The War of Art).

The honor-your-angel theory is pretty simple: you and I work and, in so doing, we pave a passage for the good stuff that our genius forces (i.e., angels) offer.  We slide into a space that says sometimes there is no set timeline.  It encourages a little more magic and a little less control-freak.  It promises progress if we each honor our own process.  As a yoga teacher, I help others honor their angels every day; I am not responsible for the messages, but instead for helping students clear their pathways so that they can fully receive them.

I’ll be honest with you, though: creativity angels are awesome at self-protection.  In my experience, those beauties don’t like to make appearances when we’re amped up, strung out, closed off, etc.  Our toxic energy tarnishes their halos, and it’s up to us to make our environment more inviting.

And that’s where the Zen-ing and dog cones come in. They’re two super-effective ways to clean up your act.

#1, “Zen-ing,” is doing any action that creates more easy, breezy peacefulness in your workspace.  I use a whole list of hints for proper Zen-ing, but here are a few crucial components that keep my creative ritual kicking:

• Use calming music for soothing subliminal messages. Keep an old iPod and speaker system in your office, with soft music constantly playing.  It might be classical piano, Native American flute melodies, white noise or blues guitar.  The calm seeps into your system, physiologically combating the stress chemicals that set up shop there each day.  Think of it as the exact opposite of having a blaring, doomsday news channel on in the background.
• Keep a candle nearby. Fact: candles can cause happiness.  Aromatherapy is widely used around the world as a natural healing practice, and is gaining popularity in the West.  Consider using them to increase your Zen.  If you can’t have a flame in your workspace, a bottle of aromatherapy oil fits nicely in a desk drawer.
• Stop checking email so often. Take it down to twice a day (okay, once an hour??).  A helpful way to force this is to actually log out of your account so you have to log in manually.  The less time you spend responding to crises, the more time you have to be brilliant.  Trust.
• Get a mantra going. Keep a list of encouraging quotes, empowering blog posts and faithful statements nearby.  Recite before you start working and re-apply as necessary.
  

#2, wearing a dog cone is less action, more mindfulness.  Just as when a dog is injured and has to wear a wide, plastic protective collar around its head to keep it from excess damage, a mental version can be extremely helpful to block out the outside world when it gets distracting or discouraging (especially unhelpful comparisons of yourself to others).  I mean, how can the external environment get into your line of vision if you’re rocking one of these?

So, you’ve designed your Zen space.  You’re working your dog cone.  You ask: where are these angels and when will they arrive?  My answer: everywhere, all of the time, and at your service.

Here’s the thing…

Forget thinking that you have to create something great.  Instead, just create a calm, centered space where the rest of the world isn’t all up in your business.  Close the door to all of that.  Sit with yourself and your experience.  Breathe.  Stretch.  Honor your individual, different, diverse, off-the-mat, yoga-inspired, angel-amped process.  Be still.  Be quiet.  Be patient.  Listen. You might just hear them sing.

I arrive home, good morning hello for the cats who greet me at the door, breakfast of whole grain toast with sliced avocado (freshly-cracked black pepper, sprinkle of sea salt), gathering of the notebooks.

Then, the coffeehouse.  Caffeine courtesy of a cortado.  Separately, a shot of hesitation begins pumping in like little sparks of electricity.  That’s called Fear, and its malignant cells multiply to make Overwhelm.  I mean, have you ever noticed that 98% of your body can say “go,” but 2% of paralysis can nail your ass to your seat?

For something that so heavy, it begins pretty simply.  What to do today?  This morning?  Right now? I check this week’s to-do list to find answers.  They’re easy enough.  Because, though it still presents its challenges, this delicious, day-to-day yoga+wellness biz I manage is, well, manageable.  But what about the next level that is underneath, making my skin feel too tight? What am I creating, exactly, here?  What does it look like, feel like?  How does it taste?   Will it make money?  Will I know enough?  Will it help the customers about whom I care so deeply?  When will it happen? Not as easy now.

Breathe.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I open my book ready to read; my notebook, ready to write.  And I sip my coffee.  My clients ask whether I am “always so calm.” I smile softly, ‘tell them you don’t get Zen without having plenty of material to work with.

I continue with the breath, feel the fear surrender into the right side if my torso, a little bit smaller, quieter, less demanding of my attention (or perhaps more defeated?  I really don’t care).  I begin my work, my creative process.  I make something, send something, post something (this something).  I share stuff, expose stuff, I make some contribution to and connect with those in my universe.

And I remember, I remind myself, that there are days, weeks and, indeed, months like this.  If you’re on the right track.

Keep going.

At first, I naturally felt uncomfortable about this… and then I realized that it all brings me back to one of my favorite, although sometimes forgotten, mantras:

I am an imperfect person.

Oh, ah, the relief of resting in divine imperfection. 

Yep, it’s true: imperfection can be a source of divinity, of otherworldliness and messy, beautiful bliss.  Imperfect timing, circumstances, experiences and efforts all assist in the makings of our crazy, wonderful lives.

This thinking is a far cry from the unsustainable, almost imperceptible pressure present throughout my earlier years, though.  As a kid, I strove for 100%, for 100% of the time.  An “A-” on a test was likely to generate a teary waterfall.  Anything less than “the absolute best” just was. not. an. option.  I wore my Type A badge with bright, beaming pride.  If there was a line to draw, I drew it straightest.  If the teacher had a task to do, I got the job.  Reliable, dependable, efficient, effective, in control, on the ball, put together, uber-professional-even-at-the-tender-age-of-7.   To say I could’ve benefited from yoga as a young person is a massive understatement.

If you know what I’m talking about, you also know that this behavior is often strongly encouraged.  Praised.  Admired.  For me, it went on well into my collegiate years.

And then something happened.

It started with my failure — or at least what I perceived to be failure — to not make it into the top 10% of my class at my top 10 law school.  This might not seem like much to many people, but lemme’ tell ya: when you’ve spent most of your life defining yourself by grades, it’s kind of a big f*ing deal. And when that breaks, it has the ability to break you open.

Here’s what I’m getting at: when you’ve defined yourself by doing things the “right” way, by being in control of your outcomes, by pushing forward and being strong and making the grade (literally or figuratively), what happens when you fall short… as your inherent human-ness ensures that you eventually will?

Even if you’ve been an academic underachiever, that sneaky, subtle pursuit of perfection can rear its head in a myriad of impossibly clever ways.  For instance, are you:

• a ball player who’s game falls apart if you miss a basket, a hit, a goal?
• an artist who goes nuts if that latest creation isn’t genius?
• a hard worker who’s bought into the work ethic of miniscule (or no) vacation time at the risk of your own health?

And if these aren’t you, still, you know who you are.  The examples are as endless as the expectations, and this is where the yoga comes in:

Your yoga practice can be a powerful antidote to that drastically draining perfectionism.

At its core, yoga encourages acceptance of imperfection of body, mind and spirit.  We yogis work on letting go of our egos in challenging poses, on softening our competitive drives with others and ourselves, on giving in to the present moment, as it is, as we are.  It is a practice often referred to as “simple but not easy.”

Of course, there are yoga disciplinarians, hardcore asana athletes and bootcamp-ish teachers… everybody’s free to have their own style.  But consider defining yours with more spaciousness instead of rules, more curiosity instead of competition.  Work on building room in your practice to just try, flounder, fall and, yes, fail. And if your reaction is to defend an impractical standard of nothing less than the best, remember that saying “I’m a perfectionist” is really the same as saying “If I’m not perfect, I’m not good enough.” Ouch.

So, stay safe on your yoga mat, but add some softness.  Support yourself and your practice with enough room to make mistakes.  And once you acquire that new skill set, introduce it into the rest of your life, applying it to your to-do list and your [crucially-important] self concept.  Do your best, then rest.  Have faith that, even if you screw something up, you’ll probably also figure it out.

There’s a saying: “great is the enemy of the good.”  Go for the good, knowing that it’s plenty good enough… and that it might just be the best thing overall.

Last month we celebrated the start of the new year with the first 10 of a top 20 list: selected suggestions on ways to rock out your 2011.

So, you can guess what I’ve got for you this month: the next 10.

These aren’t your usual tips (well, okay, you might be able to guess the first one).  They are, however, all things that I’ve used, that my clients use, that have offered results and infused light into many, many lives.

Which will you choose to help guide you towards a better-than-ever year?

#11   |   Stop smoking.  Now. Let’s start with a basic-but-couldn’t-be-more-important one, and let’s be perfectly unapologetic here: smoking slowly kills you (or at least 5 million of your friends). When you smoke, you are actually killing your cells (and, I’d offer, yourself).  Buy a patch.  Get gum.  Join a support circle.  Try those new electric gadgets.  Or go cold turkey.

If it seems impossible, try this personal story on for inspiration: when my younger brother, Charles, was really young — to the tune of 4 years old — he and my dad would go fishing.  On one of these beautiful bonding trips, this couldn’t-be-cuter kid had busied his brain about our dad’s cigarette habit, and proclaimed “Daddy, I want you to stop smoking.” When dad replied, “why’s that, son?” he responded, very matter-of-factly, “because if you die you can’t take me fishing.”  It stopped that day. It can be done.  DO IT.

#12   |   Get outside at least 3 times a week. While our society is better protected now than ever from the sun’s harmful rays, we’re actually not getting enough of the sun’s good stuff, often due to long work hours indoors and winter weather (which can alter Vitamin D availability).  Change that this year.  Ask your doctor for how much you need, but a good baseline is 10 minutes’ exposure.

#13   |   See beauty often. Gorgeous things can be found all around town.  Look for the kindness in a person’s eyes, engage with the enormous, cloudless sky overhead, admire a stunningly plated dish before you devour it.

#14   |   Get a physical once this year.  Pay attention. See.  Your.  Doctor.  At least annually.  No matter how healthy you appear, it’s always a good idea to check in with your physician at least once every 1-2 years.  Ask questions.  Do the random battery of tests.  Check in before you check out.

#15   |   Take a multivitamin every day. Generic or brand name.  Chewable or whole.  Adult or kids (really).

#16   |   Sleep as close to 8 hours a night as humanly possible. I know it’s hard to do every night, but make it a priority.  When you do have extra time to watch a movie before bed or catch up on a bunch of emails, do me a favor and turn it off.  As an experiment, go to bed one night at or before 9 p.m., see how you feel when you wake up, and then thank me in the morning.

#17   |   Have sex at least 2x/week.* The above notwithstanding, sex is an excellent barometer for your overall health.  WebMD, Newsweek, Dr. Oz, ABC News, Men’s Health Magazine and expert Dr. Laura Berman all agree.  Get busy.

*Consenting adults only, of course. Underage readers, please rock regular exercise for the same results.

#18   |   Write stuff down whenever you can. Keep a journal of your goals, of what’s going on as you move through the months of the year, of your feelings about those goings on.  Use your notes as information on how authentic your actions are to your ideal plan.

#19   |   Always accept and honor setbacks. Sounds like crazy-talk, I know, but consider this: we are taught to punish ourselves when we don’t meet a goal.  We’re told to play to win, and to win all.  We are an uber-competitive breed, and guess what: it isn’t working.  Stop the setback-bashing.  The next time you fall short — and you will, my friend — just check it out.  Ask why it happened, how you feel about its occurrence, and what might be done differently next time.  In other words, be mindful about your actions (or lack thereof).  Pick yourself up again and carry on, committing to learning from every setback, every time it happens.  If the same setback keeps happening, trust that it will vanish once you’ve truly learned the lesson it is there to teach you.

#20   |   Be quiet once a day. Something interesting happens when we’re quiet.  Once we stop talking — or thinking about what to say, do, be — our other senses become heightened.  We see, feel, listen more intently… and intensely.  Our bodies actually relax.  Meditation is a great way to tap into this, but any “quiet” is a good start, and there are pockets of it everywhere.  Turn down your own volume (and any music) at least once every 24 hours, whether it’s in the car, in a cab, in the elevator, at your desk, walking the dog, on the treadmill.  Search and find those few minutes, and sink into them.

This is the time to find specials on gyms, discounts on health-related services, advertisements for super-cleansing detox diets.  Everybody wants to lose the holiday pounds, and start a new chapter with a pretty, clean, smooth slate.  Time automatically hand-delivers that fresh start at midnight… but then what?

How, exactly, do you kick off 2011 in a kick-ass way?

If you feel even 0.001% overwhelmed, unsure, or frozen in the face of the big, BIG possibility of the new year, don’t even sweat it — you’re about to get 20 easy, practical, to-do ideas that will turn 2011 from a year of potential into one of promise.

Now, I know 20 new things to do might be a bit overwhelming — especially with that standard January resolution push — so you’re only getting 10 to try on this month.  And this first one’ll lift the pressure right off your shoulders:

#1   |   SKIP THE RESOLUTIONS. Yeah, I said it.  Generally speaking, I don’t like resolutions, never have, and here’s why:  they’re always too short-term, too grand, too demanding. Inevitably I break them, and then feel the phenomenal weight of failure.  That’s supremely unfortunate because  feeling like a loser actually leads to perceiving the world as a loss.

Once I figured out that resolution pattern, I knew with 110%-magic-crystal clarity that the Failure Feeling had to be tied up, boxed in, burned and buried.  So I killed it.  I stopped listening to the subtle, sneaky message behind most resolutions that says: “You’re not good enough.  You need to be different, new and improved in order to be okay.”  And I started creating intentions instead.

Here’s how you swap a resolution for an intention:

• Instead of starting with what’s wrong, start with what is.
• Instead of change rooted in what you don’t like, change based on awareness + acceptance + gratitude + patience + practice.
• Work to improve, but stop cracking the emotional whip that beats you into thinking you suck if you don’t.
• Drop the pressure to make a miraculous change as soon as possible, and check in regularly to see if you’re living in accordance with your intentions.
• Continue evolving from a place of kindness and curiosity, noting that it’s all a glorious work in progress.
• Take a deep breath and celebrate who you already are, as you are.  Give yourself a big, juicy break.

There, doesn’t that feel better?

#2   |   PUT YOUR INTENTIONS INTO PRACTICE WITH SMALL, ACTIONABLE STEPS. There’s this awesome story about a guy named Allan Bacon, a 9-to-5, cubicle resident who basically woke up one day and said “hey, I want to change my life dramatically.”  Instead of making a 180-degree turn that day, though, he went methodical.  Smart.  Slow.  Calculated.  Careful.  He started by changing his daily lunch routine — literally, that small shift — and still got a borderline mindblowingly genius outcome that involved creating a dream job and moving his family across the pond to Paris. Sometimes you leap into the next big thing, but often you support that jump by first building a foundation from completing small, actionable steps.

#3   |   BREATHE DEEPLY.  AT LEAST ONCE A DAY. It not only physiologically calms your body and mind, it also stretches, strengthens, improves respiratory efficiency, and maximizes the air capacity of your lungs.

#4   |   EAT WHOLE FOODS. Not necessarily from Whole Foods.  We’re talking real, fresh food found on the outside perimeter of the grocery  — fruit + veg, [organic] meat and fish, whole grains — as well as nuts and other unprocessed foods.  Stuff you can recognize, pronounce, recreate at home.  Go vegetarian for a week or more.  Let go of the artificial sweetener and that fat-free stuff.  For guidance, I love Michael Pollan’s book “Food Rules” – easy, everyone-can-do-at-least-one tips.  His mantra:  “Eat food.  Not too much.  Mostly plants.” Good stuff.

#5   |   DRINK WATER AND NO (OR AT LEAST LESS) SODA, REGULAR OR DIET. Buy at least 2 reusable water bottles: work and home.  Keep extras in the car or fridge.  Add lemon wedges to your glass if you get bored, or get spa-licious and slice pears into a water pitcher.  Staying hydrated helps you look younger, gets your skin glowing, and makes your body move more smoothly — it’s  lubrication for joints and the digestive system.  If you’re really committed, try an antioxidant water booster (whether they work is up for grabs, but I love the concept).  Soda, on the other hand, is bad for you and everybody knows it.  Empty calories and chemicals just aren’t helpful.

#6   |   MOVE YOUR BODY. SQUEEZE, STRETCH, SWEAT AND SCHEDULE IT DAILY. If you’re reading this, I’ll assume that yoga’s a viable option for you.  If not, there are a trillion others.  Walk, jog, run, bike, swim, Zumba, P90X, kickboxing, basketball, football, baseball, soccer, marathoning, triathaloning, martial arts, ballet, weight lifting, Pilates, horseback riding, playing with kids, trampoline jumping, vigorous housecleaning.  Master the art of movement, and make sure it’s in your calendar.

#7   |   EAT MEALS WITH YOUR FAMILY + FRIENDS EACH WEEK. Imagine this: when you share a good meal with someone, your body actually produces a hormone called oxytocin that encourages intimate and fond feelings toward him or her.  Take advantage of the chemical reaction, and connect with those closest to you.  Prioritize your people.

#8   |   MAKE A LIST OF GREAT, HEALTHFUL GO-TO SNACKS. KEEP THE LIST ON YOUR FRIDGE. KEEP THE SNACKS HANDY (CAR, PURSE, OFFICE DRAWER, ETC.). A great way to keep metabolism high and prevent binge behavior. Some of my favorites are all-natural Larabars and Kind bars, individually bagged almonds and/or mixed nuts, hummus whole wheat wrap, honeycrisp apples, individual 2% Greek yogurt cups, Nut-thin crackers, roasted chickpeas and coconut water.

#9   |  WHEN YOU’RE FEELING SICK, ALTERNATE WITH ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE. You can still go to the doctor, but pretty, pretty please, just consider getting acupuncture.  Or cupping, or herbal remedies, or any one of the many alternative medicine techniques that are now arguably maintstream.  There’s a reason they’ve been working effectively for thousands of years in the rest of the world:  they actually do work.

#10   |   PRACTICE MEDITATION DAILY. I saved the best for last.  If there is one thing — one thing — you chance this year’s changes on, let it be meditating.  Find a quiet space, sit comfortably, place your hands on your knees, close the eyes gently, observe your thoughts, and begin to notice your breathing.  Keep it up for 2-5 minutes to begin, then gradually go deeper.   If the mind is bouncing, that’s normal… but after enough bouncing, it’s bound to get tired.  Stay.  Breathe.  Practice.

Now go create an incredibly cool, mindful, marvelous start to your year!

Early Winter in Washington

I bought a book recently called “The Gift of Nothing,” by Patrick McDonnell.  It’s an awesome children’s story about two best friends, and one of them is brainstorming like mad about what gift to give to the other.  Finally, he decides: nothing!  But it isn’t like he’s given up or gotten cheap or anything — he wraps this “nothing” up in a box, slaps a big, fat bow around it, and beams triumphantly.

I adore this story.  No, I A-D-O-R-E this story.  I adore it because of the lesson that things don’t necessarily show appreciation.  I adore it because of the gesture from one friend to another, the thought of how, exactly, to effectively manifest love, the verb.  I adore it because of the subtle truth that, sometimes, the best gift you can give is nothing at all, except for yourself.

I recently rewarded myself with a similar nothingness, and I’m tellin’ you…

It rocked my world.

The thing is, as a biz owner, I’m always working.  I’m always writing, analyzing, calculating, reviewing, editing, reading, researching, tweeting (although that really wears me out), blogging, selling, connecting, marketing, fixing, talking, emailing, buying, business-generating.  I’m making lists, friends, contacts, business plans; drafting policies, contracts; creating products, campaigns, promotions, my brand.  This is what I do, even in a small, service-based, yoga-focused business; even in an industry centered on centering, balance, serenity.

And here’s where that golden nothingness comes in.

With any job, there’s stress.  With any stress, you need relief.  I used to find relief in travel, massage, Louboutin heels, outstanding restaurants, yoga retreats… and [anyone who's thinking of getting me a holiday gift should note that] I often still do.  But today, for a reprieve, I left the to-do list at home.

Maybe it was the naked tree branches, the almost-dead cold of winter, that inspired me to streamline my day and take on less.  Whatever it was, I picked up a reasonably trashy fiction novel instead of The Economist, holed myself up in my favorite cafe with a cappuccino and a croissant, and just read.  Just sipped, absorbed a few pages, watched my coffeeshop colleagues. Just sort of did nothing.  For hours.  And I tell you, it really was a gift.

When’s the last time you experienced that?

In yoga, we work to get centered, peaceful, quiet.  We worship “savasana” (the Sanskrit name for the ultra-restorative “corpse pose”).  We strive to reach contentment through resting the body so deeply that the volume of, and in, our minds actually turns down.

Now, when’s the last time you experienced that?

Sometimes, there is pure pleasure in consciously, mindfully practicing doing nothing, whether on the mat in savasana, or off the mat in your favorite coffeehouse, etc.

This holiday, as stress builds (work pressure, family stress, loneliness, and other common ailments), consider furthering your contentment by adding “nothing” to your to-do list.  It just might be the best thing you accomplish all month.

Basically, on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, November 27th, 2010, you can make a recession-battling, economy-boosting difference.  I’m supporting the effort by committing to shop accordingly that day (tough job but, hey, I’m a giver).  I’m also extending a new discount on Higher Ground’s specialty yoga services.

Mark Small Business Saturday’s shopping on your calendar, and take an extra 15% off of any single HGY session you buy that day.* Plus, if you already get The Monthly Message, let me know and I’ll add this on top of the awesome specials featured last month.

Given the nature of what we do here at Higher Ground, it makes sense for you to check in early and learn more about classes, pricing, etc., but any service you purchase on November 27th will be 15% off.  Totally easy, totally awesome.

For more info, and a list of businesses you can support on SBS: http://www.smallbusinesssaturday.com/

* The discount doesn’t apply to items at the HGY Online Shop, unfortunately, but you can just balance that out by wearing what you buy at your Small Business Saturday-discounted session, right? Right!

(c) 2010 G. Loiseau

Happy birthday, Higher Ground.  Yep, this month, my first company marks its first year of business.  It’s an effort that has offered me a lot of happiness and extreme challenge; something that’s let me help others, yet still take care of both my expenses and sanity.  However much work I did to create this, I often think: “How lucky am I??”  My work is a privilege.  Not many people can say that.

The end of this 12-month period marks a perfect time to do an Annual Review.  Forget financials, though. I’m talking intangibles: the emotional and other components that make up a business’ success and failure.

Of course, this applies to you, too.

Maybe you don’t manage a business, but you do manage your own life.  How often do you take time out to really look around, be mindful, and evaluate how you’re doing? Do you know who and what rocks your world, moving you forward?  What sucks the life out of you, potentially sabotaging your success?

If you don’t know, wouldn’t it be easier to catapult forward on your journey if you did?

As part of my Annual Review, I took 10 minutes, one large Post-It note, and asked myself those questions.  Here’s what came up for me:

Things that rock

• Connection to my incredible community. I stay connected with family and friends who celebrate my highs, soften my falls, listen to my rambling ideas, and otherwise brainstorm, counsel, assist, comfort and support me.  Included here are fellow lifechangers — like Jonathan, Chris, Jenny, Shelley and Pam — whose ass-kicking encouragement reminds me that giving up is an option, but usually not a solution.
• My core-building, care-taking practice. Even with my community, I still set aside time alone to take care of myself.  I do my yoga, write, meditate.  Sometimes I take spontaneous trips out of town (or state, or country), and I’ve been known to eat a cupcake for breakfast.  All helpful parts of my whole.
• Prioritizing and procrastinating. I tend to prioritize too many things (as if you can even have 8 “top priorities” in a day).  So, this year, I’ve practiced hard at procrastinating instead of prioritizing.  Putting less important, “B” and “C” priority things aside usually ups my productivity.
• Coffee in the a.m. + wine in the p.m. I never said motivation had to be deep.  I often wonder why an awesome cup of morning coffee (even decaf) can have such a positive impact on my day, or a great glass of red can make reviewing my financials easier in the evening.  It’s like meditation: I don’t know how it works, but I don’t really care.  In a practically Pavlovian way, these things make me happy, and that’s good enough.
• Just going with it. One of the biggest ways I’ve survived this year is by just getting out there.  Just showing up at that event, just teaching that client, just hitting “send.”  By taking the risks, over and over, the process became a smidge softer, a little less intimidating.
• Putting fear on paper. When I’m overwhelmed or afraid, I write it down.  I list specifics: what it looks like in my mind, feels like in my heart, sounds like in my head.  Then, I literally “face my fears” by reviewing the dissections and seeing how they stand up.  So far, I’ve won those contests.

Things that suck

• Toxic Overload. Too much of a “bad” thing.  It could be too much alcohol, sugar, or time with people or situations that no longer serve me.  Sometimes I make excuses to keep at it, just so I can avoid the sting of change.  But that’s always temporary, and I always feel better afterward.
• Not investing in appropriate help. Seeking out wiser ones is often a wise move.  One of my biggest business mistakes this year is so common it’s a cliche:  I didn’t hire a bookkeeper.  Did I figure my financials out myself anyway?  Yeah.  Was it a good time?  Yeah right.

Now, truth be told, my former Type A personality really, really wants to come up with four more items on the “things that suck” side, but I still think it’s pretty good for 10 minutes.  I hope it offers a little insight.

So how about you?  What’s on your Lists?

Look around, inside and outside of yourself, and see what’s going on.  Take notes.  Keep it honest, vulnerable, open.  Honor your experiences with acceptance and humility.  Then, do the math: increase the things that give you a push, and decrease the things that get in your way.  And when you start feeling the upswing of your action, celebrate.  Maybe even with a breakfast cupcake.

(c) 2010 Margaret Ward.

You know how for years, pageant contestants used to say they really wanted world peace?  I gotta’ tell you, I think inner peace would be a pretty good start.

I say this as I’m en route to New York City, not the most peaceful place on the planet.  It is home to my lovely little “home yoga studio,” located on a loud, dirty, rambunctious Manhattan street, not exactly the model of serenity. Interestingly enough, though, that place taught me one of my most important yoga/life lessons about staying calm.  It all happened during one of my classes, when I was in downward facing dog.

I decided right there, upside down, that after years of great classes marred with street commotion, that I’d had enough.  Enough of the ambulance sirens.  Enough of the construction workers drilling during my savasana.  Enough of the random crazy person yelling at the top of his lungs.  Here I was paying good money to get calm, and all I got was noisy outside stress creeping into my Zen place.  I was totally annoyed, and then it happened.  As I felt my shoulders tighten and my breath speed up, my teacher’s voice drowned out the person outside on the sidewalk, and said:

“What a perfect place to practice.  What a perfect chance to work on going inside, on breathing through the external distractions in life.”

Whoa.

I won’t say that the noise instantly mutated into the voice of angels singing, but it was definitely a revelation.  All of the sudden, I felt more calm, more centered, more in control of my environment… my internal environment. This is what the yoga world calls “pratyahara” (prounounced praht-ya-har-uh), one of my favorite concepts.  It means “withdrawal of the senses,” and encourages the development of internal concentration to rise above the external distractions that enter our beings through sight, smell, sound, touch and taste.  It’s part of the “8 limbed path” to absolute bliss, described in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, an ancient text. The basic idea is that if you follow the path – by practicing the “limbs” – you get to the end. Despite being taken from a text that is thousands of years old, pratyahara is one of the most valuable and applicable limbs in our world today.  I mean, just think about how many distractions you have every 24 hours.  Think about how many distractions you have at this very moment.

Stop right now and ask yourself:  aside from these words, what do I see, hear, smell, taste, feel that’s utilizing my energy?

Here’s another example: I recently taught a lunchtime yoga class at a private office space.  Unfortunately, though, not everyone got the memo:  about halfway through the class, some maintenance workers came in, set themselves up on the other side of the room, and began eating hamburgers and fries.  The talking and the aroma wafted into every practice of every yogi.  Talk about distracting.  But while it wasn’t an ideal environment for calm, it was an excellent opportunity to concentrate, to practice pratyahara.

When we do, we change that initial irritation into motivation to focus more deeply on the inside.  We inhale, and exhale. We let distractions drown out and become enmeshed into a multisensory white noise, resting there for a bit.  We bring our attention back to the breath, and start to relax into the moment.  We get in the driver’s seat.  The backseat passengers may yell, use a jackhammer, or eat McDonald’s in our presence, but we’ve still got the wheel.  We still decide where we’ll end up.  In other words, we create our own, immovable inner peaceful place that can’t be touched by the outside world.

Pretty awesome, right?

Even more awesome, of course, is that you don’t have to be in downward dog to use this stuff. Keep your pratyahara practice in your pocket, at your fingertips, and use it whenever the world saps your senses.  It works in traffic, at the grocery store line and at work; an insanely practical, modern day stress fix.

That Patanjali sure knew his stuff.

Most people don’t have favorite muscles, but I do.  In fact, I have several, but we’re all busy people so I’ll discuss only one: the transversus abdominis (TVA).  This is a deep belly muscle that wraps around the torso like a corset, nestled under the more glamorous rectus abdominis and obliques.  It adds definition to the waist, helps internal organ placement, and stabilizes the body during movement.  That’s why I love the TVA.  It acts as the body’s physical “inner core,” and, as such, it is also synonymous with my focus here: our emotional centers.

I discovered the emotional inner core concept years ago, when I had a debilitating injury and learned first-hand that, while yoga’s awesome for your anatomy, its non-physical benefits are at least equally important.  Strengthening my emotional core was harder than getting a six-pack, but as I did, something incredible happened… 

Happiness, contentment, and even that seemingly unattainable “inner peace” idea flooded my world.

So how did I amp up my emotional core strength?  Well, there’s no magic formula, but there are a few specific things that worked for me as I used yoga to heal both my physical and emotional bodies from my injury.  Start by creating a sacred space (like your yoga mat), and then:

• Step 1: Become more mindful. Yogis love to talk about mindfulness.  Put simply, this is a foundation-building practice of being more aware of your honest thoughts and feelings.  This, in turn, help you live a life based on authenticity, truth and, hence, pure happiness.

• Step 2:  Begin where you are. This is a primary yogic concept.  Once you’re aware of your place in space, accept it.  Start from there, instead of blaming others or criticizing yourself for not being as far along as you’d like.  Reflect on reasons why you might be a bit behind in your plan, and then let it go.  Hear any harsh words you tell yourself, and then politely tell that voice to shut it — you’re busy working on a strength program here.  Burn that negative energy like fuel.

• Step 3:  Invite in the _______, and just sit with it. I borrow this phrase from one of my favorite fellow yoga teachers, who, like me, believes that one of the best ways to build up your emotional reserve is to surrender to painful feelings and experiences without trying to block or banish them.  Instead, you invite in the pain/fear/irritation/anxiety and let it wash over you, like water, without resisting.  You pay attention to what comes up.  You observe your own judgments.  You breathe.  Maybe you cry, or cower, or get really angry.  And you just keep sitting until something softens.  In yoga-speak, this is a process that is “simple but not easy.”

• Step 4: Create emergency exits. At some point along the core strengthening journey, you may have some setbacks. For those challenging times when “sitting with it” fails, have Plans B, C and D ready.  Maybe it’s taking a nearby yoga class or hiking a favorite trail (exercise is a phenomenal compliment to this sort of thing), writing in a journal, or referencing a one-page “cheat sheet,” with encouraging quotes and your best qualities spelled out.

• Step 5: Let the answers reveal themselves. In other words, stop trying so hard and start trusting yourself. Acknowledge that you already know some stuff.  Most yogis, in fact, believe that we are our own best teachers; you probably already have answers to some of the questions in your head.  Accept that it may not be time for you to know all of them yet, and work instead on creating a safe space for yourself, within yourself, so that knowledge can seep to the surface.

In closing, I love the following yoga analogy, which compares your emotional core to a tree trunk:  if a tree trunk is small and feeble, then whenever the weather turns, the tree will sway and, possibly, fall.  It is shaken by every wind, regardless of force.  In contrast, if the tree trunk is solid, it stands regardless of hazardous weather.  Similarly, stressors can knock you right over if your emotional core is weak, but if you have a steady center, outside conditions don’t break you down. Just like the tree, you’ll stand tall.  Stress may sway your branches or take off a few leaves, but that’s about it.

As you work on growing that steady center, remember that emotional strength training takes time.  It’s an investment.  You’re not just trying to drop a few pounds of body fat; you’re trying to lose a ton of emotional weight that you’ve probably been accumulating for a really long while.  Stick with your process, with yourself.  Go inside for what you need, and the excess will start to fall away.  Soon enough, you’re gonna’ feel a whole lot lighter.